Here’s How Sleep Happens

Welcome to this week's post! This week is about sleep effort and delegation.

Sleep efforts are anything we are trying to do with the intent to produce or preserve sleep. It’s only natural when we have insomnia to problem solve and try to fix our sleep. This is your brain's way of trying to keep you safe. The problem is, the more effort we put into sleep, the less sleep we are going to get. 

I know it can feel like your sleep system is broken but I promise you that it isn’t. We are only getting in the way of our sleep system without realizing it.

You see, all our efforts to try and make ourselves sleep, are fear based reactions. When we react with fear of sleeplessness and try to escape wakefulness at night, our brain thinks there is a threat out there and triggers the fight or flight system.

Now everytime you think about sleep or worry about not sleeping, the brain triggers that fight or flight system and we cannot sleep. It might sound like all we need to do is relax and do something like meditate but unfortunately that is not enough when it comes to insomnia. We have to teach the brain that there isn’t a threat out there so that the brain will take sleeplessness off the threat radar.

Think about how “normal” sleepers sleep. They hold the secret to sleeping well; which isn't a secret at all. If you ask them what they do to sleep so well, they'd probably say, “I don't know, I just lay down and it happens”. This is because they don't worry or think about their sleep. They're not trying to fix or control it. It just happens. This is because they're not getting in the way of their own sleep system and having a fear based reaction. 

All of our sleep efforts, worry, and attempts to control your sleep are only strengthening our insomnia. It’s important to understand that nothing outside of us can produce sleep. Our thoughts and reactions to sleeplessness are what creates the insomnia cycle and maintains it.

You may think, “Okay, I've taken a supplement, sleeping pill, or have done CBTi” and it worked temporarily. This can be because of “delegation.” Remember,  sleep happens without effort. 

When we have been trying to control our sleep and then we take a pill or supplement, we relax a little and think that this is great. Now we don't have to do anything. The pill is taking care of it for us and we don't have to put in any more effort. This is delegation. This relaxation and lack of effort is what’s bringing on sleep, not the pill. Until something stressful happens and then it no longer “works” anymore or it’s not reliable. ***There is more to the sleeping pill but that is a whole other post. And no, the sleeping pills are not producing sleep either. Click here to learn more: https://www.katelingates.com/blog/should-you-take-sleeping-pills

Another scenario that can happen when you take a pill or supplement  is that you didn’t totally believe that it would work. You might be wondering what’s going to happen after taking this pill/supplement? Is it gonna work? Is it going to make me sleep? What if it doesn’t work?

These thoughts are an effort toward trying to get to sleep. You’re going to keep watching and keep monitoring your sleep which also raises your hyperarousal levels..

To learn more, check out the video above. The most important thing to understand is about sleep efforts and how they maintain our insomnia.